What A Wonderful Town

Posted 2:17 PM by Michelle
I've been in New York since last Sunday and I feel as though I was hit by a slow-moving truck that then ran over my chest and parked. Last Saturday, the day of the event, was so freaking awful, and I feel in no way recovered. My excema is laughing, heartily, at my new excema medicine, as well as every other kind of glop I've used to try to quell the maddening, wildly itching rashes coursing up my shins. I've been getting those weird pains again, too, the ones that are like lightening somewhere in my chest and then gone, leaving a haze of pain. It has been a very difficult week for a number of reasons. One, I was supposed to get a bunch of work done, and have been entirely unable, because of two, which was the fact that my baker is here in New York and... and it is so strange, because whatever was there in California is so changed. Being together was not what either of us expected.


But the Democratic National Convention- god, for the first time in years I had hope. Kerry was fantastic. At one point I said, "If Bush is watching this, he is totally asking someone to find a dictionary to look up all of the multi-syllabic words" and my mom said, "Nah. Bush is probably asleep". I know I'm being petty and ugly and elitist, but I can't wait for the presidential debates largely so Kerry can show Bush to be the utter nin-cow-poop that he is. I mean, seriously, on what level will these two communicate? They hardly speak the same language.

I'm now up at the farmhouse, looking forward to my first real rest in over a month. I wish I had a week up here.

Blah, blah, blah

Posted 9:43 PM by Michelle
There are so many things worth a string of words but I am hitting the wall fast and hard. I worked from 9 AM to 11 PM yesterday on a show that partially benefits my organization and it was bloody hell. I was underprepared, without knowing that I was, and overstaffed because the other organizations thought I'd be underprepared, and at one point, a woman turned to me and said, "How exactly did you get your job?"

I'll tell you. I got my job because with the smallest amount of clarity in communication, I can move mountains. I realize you think I'm just and incompentent actor, but to be frank, I'm not even that anymore. Rather than plead my case, there's one simple thing to tell you: fuck off.

I've never worked so hard for something that reaped so little, and that mostly reaped frustration and petty bitterness. I'm realizing why certain things in my current situation are essentially in the toilet. I can create change, but only within the parameters of middle-aged, narrow-minded, well-marrieds with too much time on their hands. My hands are bound by how far those around me will grow. Thankfully, luckily, I don't really ever have to work with the people from this weekend again, and really, many of them were lovely. But man alive, one sour apple so easily spoils the barrel.

I could rage on about this, but instead, I'll sleep an extra ten minutes.

I'm back in New York, looking forward to time with mom and brothers. I have a fair amount of work to accomplish as well, but... but maybe not tomorrow. Maybe tomorrow I just won't think about it. I've only had one weekend day and it was spent largely on a plane crying my eyes out as I watched "Moulin Rouge". I need at least one more whole day.

And to those of you naysayers who read blogs but then can't figure out why anyone reads blogs, see above paragraph 2, sentence 4.

ANASTASIA, COME HOME!!!!